School of Life with .....Waheed Ogunjobi
We all have our good moments, very good moments and bad days as well as very bad days, when things are not working or going the way we expected,envisages or plan, or when we suddenly stumble. Like they say, inside life, things happen. And, going by the street voices, our people will say This Life ,no just balance".
Yes, Life is full of ups and down. Just like the Ecclesiastical book says, there is time for everything; time of huge successes; time of failure or a little setback. It is the admixture of good and bad that makes life thick and interesting to live in.
The widely cited Chinese Philosopher, Poet and Politician Confucious was quoted as saying "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall"
So, expanding Confucious thoughts, we should tell ourselves the truth. It is not that you stumble, it’s that you get back up. It’s not that you did something wrong, but that you realize what’s happening and change. It’s not that you messed up as a friend or lover, it’s that you see ways you can be better. Having the wrong priorities is bad enough, but realizing that and refusing to change is worse. It’s not that you never took the time to smell the roses and admire the sunset; it’s that once you realize this, you take the time to notice.
One of my coaches in the lessons of life wrote and I quote " mistakes are bad, no doubt, but not learning from them is worse. The key to learning from mistakes is to admit them without excuses or defensiveness, rub your nose in them a little, and make the changes you need to make to grow going forward. If you can’t admit your mistakes, you won’t grow".
Yes, I think I should dwell a bit on this, when people make themselves difficult to correct and are very resentful of or aversed to criticism, they can never grow because they only see things from their own perspective.
My coach went further to say "In these moments, we’re not the friend others deserve, the partner others choose, the child our parents raised, the exemplar we wish to be, nor the person we’re capable of being. But, despite all of these , we are still who we are and the good things about us lies beneath.
The bottomline however is that, it can happen to the best of us. We’re human, afterall; We all make mistakes..
Shane Parrish wrote and I quote "just because you failed doesn’t mean you can’t succeed. We all fail. Mentally resilient people realize that its not failure that defines your identity but how you respond.In the end, it’s not the failures that define us so much as how we respond to it. How do you respond to failure? Do you allow it to get to you by having to dwell on it, reflecting deeply to make the right move or you decide to wallow in dejection ,until it weigh you down? Chose right.
Yet , another, wise saying by John Wooden has it that "Success is never final. Failure is never fatal. It’s courage that counts.”
Going forward, often times, when we make mistakes, we tended to be sober and sometimes,listen to others whose mission may just be to demoralise, order than uplifting our spirit. If you stick to the voice of people who are only meant to dampen your spirit, I bet it you will continue to stumble and make more mistakes and they will continue to have their ways, grip and hold on you. Instead, focus on God, listen to the still voice beneath your soul. Follow your mind. Don't be distracted.
A popular Gospel song in this stead, caught my fancy. It goes thus: Aye lo so pe o le Nilari, eniyan lo so pe oro re o le ja si rere,woli lo so pe oro re o le ni itumo mo, kiyesi, Olorun o so be o".
Meaning, it is the mischievous people that pass the judgment of failure on you, if you look and think very deeply, you will realise that that mistakes you make doesn't define you, but the plan of God for you to achieve utmost success remains.
In conclusion, let us concentrate more on the lessons of our mistakes order than getting busy, reprimanding ourselves and condemning ourselves. It is good to reprimand ourselves, but we must always set the limits. Haba! don't be too harsh on yourself. Let go of that bad thought. You can still do better. Dry bones can still rice again.The stones that the builders rejected, can still be the Chief's cornerstone. .Stay blessed. In fact, you are doing well in Mr. Macaroni's parlance.
Tomorrow is another day.
Waheed Ogunjobi, a journalist, writer, Public Affairs Analyst and an enthusiast writes from Abeokuta and can be reached on 08035004741 or waheedogunjobi@gmail.com
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